Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is always wonderful-if for no other reason than the kids try extra hard to be good-to me and to each other!

On my very first Mother's Day-when I was pregnant with our first child-it was the day that I first felt her move. It was amazing.

Each Mother's Day since then there have been beautiful humbling moments as I reflect on the blessing that it truly is to be a mother. On what a huge blessing it is that my children have such a wonderful father too! That my sweet indulging husband has given me the gift of these children. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving!
Seriously though-there is no way I could make it through this crazy ride of motherhood without him. I am so blessed to be married to my best friend, who also happens to be the most amazing husband and father.

This year of course I reflected on each of my children. On how they have changed me, the things I have learned, the ways I have grown.

And I just can't help but think that when you finally think you've got a handle on things, like you have your groove and understand what it's all about, that's when you realize that you really know very little. You certainly don't have it all figured out.

I have always loved my children before they arrived. I have feared the thought of something going wrong, of having to pick myself up and carry on if anything happened to them. I have watched friends and family members lose children and wondered how they make it through. I have watched those who deal with difficult pregnancies, with complications of their own health or that of their baby's and wondered how they just keep on going.

I, like I assume every parent out there, have always hoped and prayed that my babies would be healthy and strong. That they would grow and develop correctly and arrive without incident.

And yet here is this little child within me, facing great difficulty, that is teaching me so much before he even arrives.

This Mother's Day I realize how much I've learned over the past 6 weeks. How much I've grown and how much I've changed. I have a greater appreciation of how much I love my children. I've heard people who have been through great trials say that they wouldn't change a thing. That has always baffled me a little. And yet, from where I sit now, while I would love for this baby to be healthy and whole and never face any difficulties in his life, I can't say I'd change things. I reflect upon the things I've taken for granted in the past. Those things mean more to me now. Some of them mean something different. I know that because of what we're facing, I am a stronger person. A more faithful person. A more grateful person. Hopefully a more humble person. Who knew that a baby so small he could fit in the palm of my hand could teach me so much?

This little baby boy growing within me is a miracle, as all of my children have been.
But it is Samuel who now reminds me each day that miracles don't always come in the package you might expect.

No comments:

Post a Comment