Time to face whatever it is

There is irony in having my pre-appointment routine include making sure I'm wearing waterproof mascara and have kleenex in my purse.

This morning I feel like I've been on trial for the past 3 months. Some days the case has been argued in my favor, some days against.

The jury has been deliberating for two weeks now.

In roughly three hours I should know the verdict.

I am terrified.

In my heart I feel like the news won't be good.

Whether I am just trying to brace myself for the worst or whether that is an indication of the news we will receive today, I don't know.

I have rarely begged the heavens for strength the way I have this morning.